Christmas learnings 2011…

 

Santa.... why do I only get 3 presents a year now?

1. Children get far more for Christmas than I ever remember getting… jealous

2. I love kids but am certainly not ready for them because they curtail the drinking, bring the rowdy behaviour to an end at bedtime so as to not wake them and finally wake up crazy early

Lil bro doing a bit of planking

3. Christmas TV is on the whole shite, only Ab Fab raised a smile and even then Jane Horrocks looked about 90 as Bubbles and the woman who played Baron the ex-con hardnut gave a thoroughly unconvincing London street accent. I was also forced to sit through Michael McIntyre, having needles shot into my scrotum from five paces would have been preferable. This was a great opportunity for a Frozen Planet special I think

4. No matter how much alcohol you drink it is tough to get any further than tipsy

5. I can eat twice my weight on Christmas day without any guilt or trouble

6. Baked camembert should only be allowed at Christmas as it is the best thing in the world ever

7. My mum will buy me the exact same fragrance every year, I like Vera Wang but now have enough at home to fill a dwarf’s swimming pool

8. Executing successful small talk with extended family requires patience, understanding, additional facial muscles to put on smiles and a whole load of wine

9. Listening to Christmas music should be allowed for one hour before we then actually put on music we like, such as old soul, bit of funk (Daft or otherwise), some Stones (Rolling or Roses), maybe a little Phil Collins, random 80’s hits, some new music and of course So Solid Crew…. Tut tut tut 21 seconds

10. It is lovely fun seeing your family, especially when there are little people who still believe in the real meaning of Christmas, which is of course Santa and not the religious bollocks. But… essentially there is a reason it is once a year and for the rest of the time you are with your friends

StandardFact is heading toThailandfor 2 weeks to sleep, swim, be massaged, go to full moon parties and tan. Got to pack so can not be bothered to put loads of hyperlinks in. Enjoy Daft Punk tho…..

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Hunger Strike

Rankin y'al

Rankin – Now he may be a bit of a so and so at times but you cannot deny this guy is the boss when it comes to portrait photography. I have a few of his books and visually the shots are amazing as there is a real story to each one and he captures a moment like no one else I have seen. He can makes things unbelievably sexy or extremely dark or painfully morose or any other number of emotions.

His latest venture is Hunger Magazine, which as you would expect is painfully cool in terms of look, feel and content and in an age where everything is digital it is nice to be able to buy something to hold. i-D has helped launch, shape and chart the creativity of numerous people in its 20 years and Hunger may well have the same sort of influence.

>insert witty comment here<

Check it out online here, some interesting interviews with some really talented people like Portia Freeman, Von and Dani Smith…. and one with that fat cnut James Corden

Lazy? Agrophobic? Plain bone idle?

Well this could be the app for you, NeighbourFavour or as our American chums incorrectly spell it Neighborfavor let’s you put out requests for other to run errands for you. Need some milk? Get number 45 to do it. Run out of fags? Get little Jimmy next door to run down the shop. You have to enter in how much you are prepared to ‘tip’ for the favour, so it could even be a second income… maybe.

Now when I was at uni and particularly fond of my bed for various reasons it would have been ideal for someone else to bring me whatever I needed when I needed it.

Some things I assume you cannot get from the corner store but even so, where there’s a problem there is a solution. I wonder how long until drug dealers are using such a site, those pot heads would never leave home!

This is just another example of how there is literally an app for everything even plain laziness. There will be an app for wiping your arse soon.

Via Springwise

Crash….. and burn

Not sure....

Crash is clearly a good artist, but really?  Mobile phone cases? How about you do a range of those annoying charms that our Japanese friends seem to have on their phones, maybe a collaboration with Hello Kitty, how about a hands free kit or even a multi coloured leather case for your belt…

#majorfail

But having Eric Clapton commission a bespoke guitar well that is worth talking about

Pablo Delgado – Making a little noise

Money for nothing and tricks for free

I’ve spotted a few mini piece of street art around East London this year but did not know until a little while ago who was responsible, it is a certain Mexican chap called Pablo Delgado.

Lady in red

Delgado is a Whitechapel resident and his pictures kind of depict scenes from the oldest profession in the world, and have a sort of innocent sleaze about them, the best kind in my mind. They are actually a commentary on the gentrification of East London and how everyone in the city is geared towards selling themselves and making cash money in the year of the London Olympics.

'I want to be like those pretty ladies when i grow up'

Fat slags

Ps. I don’t like the idea of London 2012… I might have mentioned tha

 

iPhone 5 Concept…. erm yes please

I am not tech-head… It has taken me a month to get used to using a Mac again at work and still prefer my Apple computers at home. My iPhone is my saviour but I suspect I only know 50% of what it does, I still use my iPod 3 and when it comes to watches I stick to simple Casio digi watches (of which I have 15) after my run in with those pesky Tokyo Flash watches and not being able to a) set the time myself and b) able to tell it after a few beverages.

But…

I reckon this is something I need in my life… iPhone 5 concept

Although I’d probably break it in a week

Fenton/Benton vs Cowell for Christmas no. 1?

The Fenton/Benton clip of a dog chasing deer across Richmond Park chased by his desperate owner went viral in no time. Marketeers are always chasing the holy grail of creating a piece of video content that people pass around because it has that real watch-ability.  Fenton/Benton clearly was not a planned branded piece but one of the many new versions popping up online could see Simon Cowell kept off of the top spot this Christmas, and all proceeds will go to Battersea Dogs & Cats home. I am not sure if they are officially behind the campaign but there is a Facebook page set up already to drive support to get it to the top spot.

Whilst the track is no classic in the form of this beaut, but it is kinda catchy, mildy amusing and for a good cause if you are an animal person

So what does it take to become a viral success? A few of these elements, be funny, have a world famous superstar in it, show lots of flesh, reveal previously unknown information, expose some form of scandal, display unbelievable skill or just beat Simon Cowell to world domination.

 

Air Nails

Boys don’t often have manicures, I don’t know why they are great, especially with a hand massage.

Went to a PR thing this evening which meant free canapes and drinks plus a free manicure, it was at this brilliant shop off Chancery Lane, the inside was decked out like an airplane. Bloody great!

Decor taken from a Russian jumbo jet

Ok the website looks like it was done by a 12 year old but the interior is class and the manager Rochelle was lovely. They are opening East soon too. Check it out… MW Nails

Christmas party season is all about the walk of shame….

Woman or man, young or old, gay or straight, drug addled or hung over, every self-respecting (ahem) person has done the walk of shame before. There is no way of hiding it from those ‘normal’ folk who have had their 8 hours sleep and are dressed in day attire rather than the remnants of last night’s fabulous outfit. Sunglasses and a Capri Sun are a dead give-away in December…

I did not post this sooner as I had my work Christmas do last week and was enjoying my long walk of shame. I am just getting back in the swing of things, so props to Harvey Nicks who have created this witty and playful video depicting the walk of shame travelled by glamorous women in their party frocks. It is perfect for a viral video for knowing urbanites to send around to their friends but would not work as a campaign on TV or in a glossy mag, it amuses while avoids alienating.